Border Patrol Has Seized More Eggs Than Fentanyl So Far This Year

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The U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) has been playing egg cop more than drug buster in 2025, snagging 5,938 egg products while only netting 1,631 pounds of fentanyl. Can’t compare sunny sides to powder piles—one’s by count, the other’s by weight, but it’s clear the yolk’s on fentanyl this year.

**Why It’s a Yolk**

Trump swore his tariffs on Canada and Mexico would choke off fentanyl sneaking over borders—guess he didn’t see the Great Egg Invasion coming. He also vowed egg prices would crash “Day 1” of his reign, but in early March, a dozen hit a wallet-busting $8.17, according to local news. Blame bird flu, turning chicken coops into feathered graveyards as farmers cull flocks faster than a fox in a henhouse.

**Eggs vs. The Bad Stuff**

A CBP flack told reporters: “Egg busts are up 36% this fiscal year (October 2024-February 2025) over last year’s scramble.” Why? Bird flu and Virulent Newcastle disease have agents snatching eggs like they’re smuggling state secrets. In Texas, CBP nabbed over 90 egg desperados from Mexico since January—raw egg imports are verboten, folks.

Trump’s admin can’t rehire the bird flu whizzes they fired from Agriculture—smooth move, geniuses. Bird flu kills 50% of humans it touches, per the CDC, while the DEA says 2 milligrams of fentanyl might flatline you, depending on your grit. Funny thing: 86.3% of convicted fentanyl peddlers are U.S. citizens, not border-jumpers—awkward for the deportation crowd, says a recent study.

**What the Cluckers Say**

CBP preaches: “No fresh eggs, raw poultry, or wild bird bits—declare it or fork over $300 when we nab you.” Most travelers spill the beans (or eggs), ditch ‘em, and skate free—only a few smugglers get the fine.

**What’s Cooking Next**

Egg prices eased off their March high, but Ag Secretary Brooke Rollins warns Easter could fry budgets again. Fentanyl’s still lurking, but eggs are the real border bad boys.