USDA Admits Mistakenly Firing Bird Flu Officials, Working to Rehire Them
- Alien On Earth
- Mar 19
- 3 min read
Oh, bless their hearts, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has gone and stepped in it again, haven’t they? In a move that screams peak bureaucratic brilliance, the agency accidentally gave the boot to “several” employees who were, you know, just casually working on the federal response to the H5N1 bird flu outbreak—like it’s no big deal that a virus is wiping out poultry flocks and jacking up egg prices faster than you can say “omelet.” This little oopsie happened over the weekend of February 18, 2025, and now the USDA is scrambling to undo their masterpiece of mismanagement, promising to “swiftly rectify the situation.” How reassuring.
Picture this: while the Trump administration is busy flexing its downsizing muscles—guided by the steady hand of tech billionaire Elon Musk and his Department of Government Efficiency dream team, most of whom wouldn’t know a government job from a Tesla factory gig—the USDA somehow managed to fire the very people keeping us safe from a feathered apocalypse. “We’re working to rescind those letters,” a spokesperson chirped, as if it’s just a matter of hitting “undo” on an email. Meanwhile, the agency insists its Food Safety and Inspection Service frontline workers are “public safety positions,” and they’re totally still hiring to keep our food supply from turning into a Hitchcock movie. Sure, guys, we believe you.
This isn’t even the first time the Trump crew has had to backpedal on their slash-and-burn approach. Just last week, they tried to reinstate some nuclear safety employees they’d axed, only to realize they didn’t have their new phone numbers—because who needs contact info when you’re reshaping the government on a whim? Now, with bird flu spreading faster than gossip at a small-town diner, egg prices are soaring, and the CDC’s tallying 68 human cases in the U.S. like it’s a grim game of bingo. On her first day, new Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins bravely convened a panel to “review options” for tackling the outbreak, which is a nice way of saying they’re still figuring out how to clean up this mess.
The collateral damage? Researchers at the National Animal Health Laboratory Network—part of the USDA’s bird flu fight—got caught in the crossfire of these “sweeping cuts,” leaving folks like Keith Poulsen from the Wisconsin Veterinary Diagnostic Laboratory muttering about how this is “creating a lot of problems.” No kidding, Keith. Meanwhile, Republican lawmakers are clutching their pearls, privately begging the administration to rethink cuts that might leave us all defenseless against a virus that’s already torched 151 flocks and 23 million birds. Rep. Don Bacon, a Nebraska Republican with a seat on the House Agriculture Committee, offered some sage advice to the DOGE squad: “Measure twice, cut once.” Too bad they seem to be measuring with a broken ruler and cutting with a chainsaw.
The chaos doesn’t stop there. Lawmakers are fuming over the lack of clarity from the administration—shocker—while constituents back home are yelling about egg prices that could fund a small country. The House Agriculture Committee even had to hold a weekend briefing just to figure out what the heck is going on, because apparently, the USDA’s too busy firing and rehiring to keep them in the loop. Committee Chairman Glenn “GT” Thompson is staying optimistic, tossing out a vague nod to Secretary Rollins and her “review” of the situation, but you can almost hear the exasperation through the press release.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get more absurd, some Republicans are now griping about cuts to a program that keeps birds away from airports—because nothing says “aviation safety” like letting poultry roam free near runways. With broader funding slashes and new restrictions on NIH grants looming, infectious disease researchers and local health officials are left wondering how they’re supposed to fight bird flu with one hand tied behind their backs. The Trump administration’s latest trick—firing probationary employees across the government, potentially hundreds of thousands of them—comes with flimsy “performance” excuses, even for workers with glowing reviews. Probationary or not, it’s a bold strategy to shrink the government by accidentally kneecapping the people keeping it running.
So here we are, folks: a bird flu crisis, a government in disarray, and a USDA that’s somehow turned “whoops, we fired the wrong guys” into a full-time job. At least they’re trying to rehire them now—assuming they can find them amidst the chaos of Elon’s grand efficiency experiment. Grab your overpriced eggs and buckle up; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
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